I'm not against books as a whole- I love to read. However, I DO judge books by their covers. And, for some reason, I always end up enjoying the books I pick up. I can only attribute this success to the strange, methodical, and rigorous selection process that I practice every time I enter the library.
I don't think I was aware of this process until today I was at the library and mentally found myself checking off things in my head as I was trying to pick out a book to read. Here are the rules that I was subconsciously abiding by:
1. NO FEMALE AUTHORS (I think this one is going to get me into trouble)
Yes, I'm sexist when it comes to literature. Why? Well, I know it would be horribly stereotypical to say that women only write about sex, relationships, love, flowers, texting, and movie stars, because they don't all do that. BUT I don't want to risk it. I don't want to think I'm picking up a quality novel and get stuck with some sickening piece of chick lit. Not my thing. So ladies, sorry, but I'm sticking to men. And yes, I realize that I'm an idiot. (And no, this doesn't apply to blogs!)
2. THE COVER MUST BE PRETTY DARN AWESOME
There must be some sort of cool, modern, graphics or photos on the front. Something that catches my eye and makes me think that this person might be on somewhat the same level as me. Here's an example of a book that I picked up recently (due to its crazy artwork and bright colors) and enjoyed:
3. MUST BE AT LEAST SOMEWHAT HUMOROUSI'm not big on depressing novels. When I look for a book, I don't expect it to be a side-splitting laugh riot, but I expect some laughs along the way. How do I know if it'll be funny? Read the back where the reviews are. If somebody uses the words "clever," "hilarious," or just plain "funny," I'm in.
4. MUST CATER TO MY ATTENTION SPAN
I, like a great deal of my generation, can't pay attention to anything for very long. It's the downside of growing up with TV; you're programmed from birth to think that nothing is ever longer than 30 minutes and pretty pictures are better than words. Therefore, chapters must be 20 pages or less, and the book itself must be less than 500 pages.
So that's how I pick out a book. It is incredibly moronic, BUT 60% of the time, it works every time. Yes, I just threw in some "Anchorman" for y'all. That just happened.
P.S. Sorry that I have sucked with commenting lately. I'm super behind and, frankly, it's nice out and I don't want to be cooped up with my computer every day. If I haven't visited in a while, it's nothing personal. I'm neglecting you all equally :) I still love you, though!
So that's how I pick out a book. It is incredibly moronic, BUT 60% of the time, it works every time. Yes, I just threw in some "Anchorman" for y'all. That just happened.
P.S. Sorry that I have sucked with commenting lately. I'm super behind and, frankly, it's nice out and I don't want to be cooped up with my computer every day. If I haven't visited in a while, it's nothing personal. I'm neglecting you all equally :) I still love you, though!
18 comments:
I make my living getting librarians to judge books by their covers. I sell books to libraries, and tote around with a bunch of book covers. So, you are not alone in this.
But I will (as a female author) take issue with your ban of female authors we don't all write about flowers and rainbows and crap. So, you should definitely give some female authors a try. I won't bore you with a list of recommendations, but there are a lot of seriously good female authors out there.
oh, i'm all about the covers, too. if it looks cheap, tacky and lazy, it probably is.
and the world will end, m'dear, if you don't comment every day on every blog you follow.
I think everyone ends up judging books by their covers.. if not, I'm impressed. It's so hard not to judge by it!
my criteria is slightly different but I will admit I so judte a book by a cover. If there's a sexy, halfdressed, beefcake on the front with his arms wrapped around a woman dressed in something from the 16-1800's I assume its Harry Potter and move on....
Even though, you don't read female authors I'm going to tell you to read a book by Jodi Picolt (mark # 1 against your list). I'm obsessed. She has tons of books. They aren't really funny though (mark # 2 against your list). And there isn't really artwork on the covers (mark # 3). The chapters aren't long though and the books aren't over 500 pages (yay, 1 thing that meets your list). Anyways, most of her books aren't super girly, they are mysterious/intriguing/deal with real issues. You should try one.
PS- i HAVE missed you. But glad you're enjoying the nice weather :)
I'm glad to "see" you again!
Hmmm... that's pretty success rate, 60%... especially given all the books out there - so if it works for you - why mess with it!
I usually find if I really like an author, I really like nearly all of their books - so I resist reading "some one new to me". I've no problem with extra long books like War and Peace or the Lord of the Rings series - IF the author doesn't suffer from Stephen King-like "unneccessary wordiness" (Gosh, I think he gets paid by the word or something).
Oops, here this comment is going all Stephen King on ya...
I should have stopped at "Missed ya!"
I do read female authors... but then again I love romance, love, flowers and all that crap. (Jane Austen, baby!)
I love the Kathy Reichs murder mystery novels, too. Those are hilarious, adventurous and a little sad all at the same time.
My third fave author is Michael Crichton. Every single novel is so different from the rest, and you always learn something while being scared shitless.
1.There is nothing sexist about it. I won't read male authors, with a few exceptions, because they simply don't think like I do, so I end up getting bored.
2.Did you know that authors don't get to pick their covers? Well I am sure the big ones do, but I found this shocking. I still judge though, I can't help it.
3. I'm not into funny, but I am picky about other issues. No death, no vile diseases, nothing scary whatsoever. (I'm a big fraidy cat)
4.Ditto, though not on the generation thing as I think I am a bit older than you. Even so, I hate to be bored.
:)
I sort of used to be like that, but now I have my Kindle and read a lot of the Free books and some of those are horrible...what can I say, I like free stuff
Nice out? Nice out? You certainly don't live in the Pacific NW! Nice out? Ha!
Hey there! Stopping by from SITS. I loove your comment on the roll-call. I also live somewhat close to my mom but I did consider signing up and telling them she lives in France. :)
It has been really nice in Chi-town lately. Maybe that's why I haven't been good at reading blogs lately, myself. Yes, that is what I'll blame it on.
Ok I have a graphic design background. if a book doesn't intrigue me visually, I won't pick it up at all, so I'm with ya, sister.
Have an Extraordinary Day!
I like a variety of books and I usually don't judge by the cover (but the summary either grabs me or doesn't). Anyway, I stopped by because your name is the same as my mom's (spelled with a K and I usually see the "C") so I knew you were interesting.
Ms. Understood from SITS.
You're young and the weather is nice! Enjoy your life. You can read blogs when you're washed up and crabby - like me.
PS I TOTALLY judge books by the cover. And I don't do much chick lit either with the exception of Susan Elizabeth Phillips.
I lean towards male authors too. (Stephen King fan.)
The Wifey sent me, glad she did! Following.
I have been sitting on my ass all day and I have been neglecting blogs as well. I think I am in a slump.
Anyway,
I HATE chick lit but love quite a few women authors. I can lend you some books to try and change your mind.
Though I once bought a book called This Is Not Chick Lit, which was a compilation of short stories by women. I absolutely hated it. Because even though chick lit makes me want to puke, this book was all about women being raped and molested and I don't like reading about that either.
I feel so guilty when I haven't had time to visit blogs, but like the other commenter said - the world doesn't end if you don't comment on every blog you follow.
I don't have as impressive a system as you, or as stringent. But I do read the first paragraph and if it doesn't grab me, I flip to the middle and read a few lines, if it still doesn't grab me, I move on.
I'm sure everyone has a checklist when it comes to picking out a book...but most people probably haven't consciously listed it out like you did. I love judging a book by it's cover too.
big hair...big balls...also, we are wasted, consider yourself pissed on...we are making our territory LOL
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