The Grill House

When I was a college student living in Scotland, I got pretty hard up for cash. After my first 2 years there, I had pretty much spent all my money. So I got a job working at a local Mexican/American restaurant called the Grill House. Yes, a Mexican/American restaurant in Scotland. Ridic.

Now, I hated being a waitress, but looking back, I miss a LOT of things about that place. Here are some of 'em:

Nazid (see photo below): Line cook. Short. Moroccan. Kind of looked like a walking potato. One of 11 children. Would always say, "look at dis, look at dis!" when there was nothing to look at. Once I told him that my sister, Bridget, was coming to visit in a few months. Every day until she came, Nazid would ask, "when is Pigeon coming? I make her nice lamb and couscous!"

Stevie: Dishwasher. 45 years old. Bright red hair. Thick Scottish accent. Still lived with his mom. Always had a box of candy with him and he'd creepily sneak up from behind you and ask, "want a sweetie?" in a high-pitched kind of witch cackle. Claimed that he owned a pet monkey named David Lee.

Paul: Assistant head chef. The grumpiest bastard you've ever met. Took him about a year to finally give me the time of day. Smoked like a chimney. Swore like a sailor. Pudgy. About 45. His wife always came in and made him give her his tips for the week so she could go shopping...bitch.

"The Bing": The bing was not a person, but a slap on the ass. For real. All the waiters/waitresses/kitchen staff/managers would go around slapping each other on the ass with their hands, wooden spoons, rolled up pieces of paper, drink trays, or whatever else they could find and yell "bing!" Yeah, talk about a lawsuit waiting to happen. I'm surprised nobody cried sexual harassment in the 2 years I was there! (and yes, apparently "the bing" was inspired by a "Friends" episiode, for all you "Friends" nuts out there who are wriggling in your seats right now)

The Frozen Margs: Best in town! More sugar than booze, but super delicious anyhow. I once...or twice...or three times drank a whole pitcher to myself. Here's a super cheesed-out photo of my sister and myself enjoying a glass or two of that sweet, sweet nectar!

So basically, I miss the place. It rocked. If you're ever in St. Andrews, Scotland, head over there! Yes, they still have the best (ahem- only) margaritas in town and the best (only) enchiladas in town, as well! I don't know if any of the staff is the same, as the turn-over rate for staff was incredible. If you head over there, be sure to smack somebody on the ass and scream "BING!" They'll love it. Trust me. My lawyer does not endorse this message.