As promised, here's a guest post by my boyfriend, Dan. Enjoy!For starters, I'd like to say hello to all you wonderful people that read and enjoy Kathryn's blog everyday, especially you, McGriddle Pants. Anyone that hands out awards associated with ninjery is, in my opinion, instantly elevated to a position of social standing known as a "kidney friend". Meaning someone who you would donate a kidney to, should they be in the unfortunate position to need it.
It would seem that Kathryn has promised that I'll be more entertaining than her. This is doubtful, as she is easily and without trying one of the funniest people I know. She's also stated that this will probably be about ninjas and vikings. On this she is spot on. When she asked me to guest post and joked about the possible topic, I started thinking about why I love ninjas and vikings so damned much. After exactly 172,800 seconds of pondering, I finally discovered the reason - because they're awesome. So awesome in fact, that henceforth any mention of them by name will be capitalized.
Sadly, I now know that I could never be a Ninja. I lack the self-discipline, agility, sneakiness, and clothing. At 6'2", 220 pounds, I'd be about the damned biggest Ninja ever and would never be allowed to join a clan because of this and my clumsiness. Some might say I should forget the naysayers who would crush my dreams because of my size. "Start your own clan!" they might say, but really with most clans being named after vicious animals whose traits the clan mimic, I'm left to ask who would want to be in Clumsy Giant-Sloth Clan. No one, that's who.
That's where the Vikings come in. That is something I can get behind completely. I'm big, I have long hair. I enjoy things such as colder weather, swords, drinking, Scandinavian death metal, and boats. Oh! Let's not forget pillaging. I love pillaging. Add all those up, people. No matter how you phrase the equation, it always comes out equaling "fucking amazing." Alas, this is one more case of being born into the wrong time period, the last notable one being not born during the late sixties so that I could come of age in time to play in an amazing '80's metal band. Oh well.
Anyhow, thanks for reading and I hope that at least some parts of this made you laugh a bit and not slowly wonder "why is SHE dating HIM?" Though if you were, I wouldn't worry too much about it, Kathryn asks me that pretty regularly. :)
21 comments:
Tee hee, great guest post! Maybe start a clan of Ninja Vikings! :)
SHOUT OUT TO ME! Awww thanks Dan :)
And I totally agree... Ninja Vikings! Who says you can't cruise around on your boats, dressed in black, with shields and ninja stars. Sounds pretty bad ass to me!
:)
I think I can see why "she is dating him" but I can't see why it took 48 hours to decide upon a topic! :)
I'm going to have to remember today's lesson, "Don't forget pillaging" - and of course, "Pillage first, THEN burn" too. Can't forget that either.
DAN! So nice to finally meet you. Since Kathryn is my blogging bestie I guess that makes us related in some sort of a way. I'm sure you were really nervous to get my blessing and approval, but you can relax now... I grant you my approval!
When someone has ninja love to the depths you do, it's just not fair that size prohibits you from being one!
You know, I just saw an episode of Deadliest Warrior that says a Spartan would beat a Ninja in a fight... I wonder how a fight between a Viking and a Ninja would be...
My high school Government teacher is a viking. No...seriously. He looks so much like one that I can't remember his actualy name off the top of my head, because we called him The Viking.
Your little viking guy in the picture must have broke his other horn fighting a Ninja!
And it's ok if we womens ask ourselves why we are with our men...as long as our men regularly show us! :-)
Ha! Great post, Ninja's and Vikings indeed! I have to agree with the other commentators - you should totally start your own Ninja Viking clan! For nothing but tall people - who cares if you're a bit clumsy... you can still get the job done! Stopping by from SITS - Happy Tuesday!
No mystery as to why she is dating you, any guy that can write an entertaining post about ninjas and vikings has to be a decent guy!
Great post, Dan! It's easy to see Kathryn is dating you--who doesn't love a guy with a great sense of humor?!
When you start the Clumsy Giant-Sloth Viking Ninja Clan, let me know; I'm totally in!!! You know, they say black is really slimming, so that's a total plus, and we'll move so slow, comparitively, to other ninjas that they won't see us in all their hyper-active jumping around!
Kathryn - I have an award for YOU over at my blog. :)
I'm going to try really hard to remember the new capitalizaion rule for Ninjas and Vikings.
Love the sense of humor. Sounds like you two are a great match.
You are clearly a highly trained and educated viking....seeing that my husband resemebles your stature, I shall suggest he begin viking training straight away!
You could totally be a ninja -- remember Forrest Whitaker was one and he's a manly dude, too...Vikings --don't strike me as too sharp -- though I may be swayed by those credit commercials....
Ninja's seem less stinky, so they have my vote. sorry. :)
Tagged kathryn in a post if you feel like writing about grumpiness
http://tinylittlereveries.blogspot.com/2010/05/things-that-make-me-grumpy-i-was-tagged.html
This still doesn't explain why that Minnesota football team doesn't win every Superbowl...
Lolz. I had a high schol teacher we always called "The Viking". Oh if only you could see him. Hahaha.
You won an award dearie! http://www.thewifeyblogs.com/2010/05/got-love.html
Vikings have the best soundrack. I'm down with the Vikings also.
I can't believe I missed this! Where have I been?
I can think of one other person who would join your Ninja clan. It would be the hottest twosome ever.
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