Yesterday, my roommate and I went to our first installment of a series of Zumba classes at our town's park district. We were pretty excited to go- we had heard how fun and high-energy it was, and I thought it would be a great way to work out and not feel like you're working out.
When we entered the class, there were people of all ages and we were pretty much all beginners. The instructor seemed really nice and introduced herself to all of us. There was some good salsa music pumpin' in the room and it seemed like it going to be fun.
Within 30 seconds, I knew that I was wrong. So, so wrong.
You'd think that any fitness instructor (or even anyone who has EVER attended a fitness class, or even anyone with a brain at all) would know that if music is blasting and you're in a large room, people will NOT be able to hear you if you whisper. It's science. Maybe this chick thought we all had super human hearing. Who knows.
That is, of course, when she was actually taking the time to explain what she was doing, which I think only happened about 2 times throughout the entire class. For the rest of the class, she simply would just dance, sing along to the music, change what she was doing, and expect us to magically copy her and follow along.
Not to mention, I was under the impression that Zumba was a high-energy Latin dance class. I'm fairly certain that playing Shania Twain's "Man, I Feel Like a Woman" as we grapevine across the room with our thumbs in our belt loops does NOT count as Latin dancing. But that's just me.
We also did some other great moves, including waving our arms in the air like freakin' morons and tapping our feet gently from side to side. Instead of high-powered hip shaking, our moves more closely resembled what you'd see on "Sit and Be Fit."
Also, the woman was constantly messing up and was always saying things like "I don't know what this move is called...it's kinda like this..." She didn't have a continuous loop of music like a normal class, either. Instead, after every song, there'd be like 30 seconds of silence in which we would clap our hands wildly, as if we had accomplished some monumental goal.
To top things off, the class ended 10 minutes early. So she not only subjected us to torture, but she also wasted our money. After the class, we headed to the office and asked to transfer to kickboxing because "the class was kind of awful" (my exact words). They didn't even flinch. I'm guessing they'd had some complaints before.
I have basically come to the conclusion that they pulled a random woman off the street, asked her to teach a class for $5 and she was all over it. All I can say is thank GOD I got outta there.
P.S. I'm way behind. Full-time jobbage has majorly screwed up my blogging life. Sorry, folks. Thanks for still being my friend :)
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25 comments:
Exercise classes are the bane of my existence. All that, "You're doing great!" and "Keep it up, guys! Imagine those bikini bodies!"
Shut. The fuck. Up. I don't want to hear the word bikini come out of anyone's mouth who is less than a size 2.
Omg....what a nightmare!
You actually had to pay for that?!!?!! Oh NO!!!! hahaha. You might as well had gone to a dance club or something and you would have learned more/burned more calories!
Darn! Sorry you didn't have a good time at it. Try something else, like Salsa! I hear Salsa is SOOOO sexy.
so the sit and be fit video makes up for the way behind, thing. that and the snark in your post. :] good stuff.
When I started reading this, I was like YEAH, somebody's gonna talk me into taking Zumba. Ok...not so much of that feeling...
When I read the title of this post, I thought it was going to be about a small robotic vacuum escapade(!).
Then I remembered that the little robotic vacuum is called a "Roomba".
However, by that point, the damage was already done and I felt a little empty inside.
That being said, can I use "Thumbs in my belt loops" as a potential title for my autobiography? I will give you full credit and a reasonable royalty deal, of course.
Is there another Zumba class in your town? Every instructor is different but I hear from a lot of people that there's a lack of instruction in most.
I have heard Zumba is crazy intense...sounds like your teacher must have been drunk or something. hehe
I say try out another Zumba class somewhere. SOMEONE has to get it right. Right?
I like the word "jobbage" :)
I say try out another Zumba class somewhere. SOMEONE has to get it right. Right?
I like the word "jobbage" :)
If you have a good instructor or at least a decent video to follow along with...Zumba is very high energy booty shaking and tons of fun! I have one DVD I use occasionally and took a few classes (budget prevented me continuing or I'd still be out there shaking it up with a bunch of other folks with no coordination!)
haha, I'm not that great at Zumba, and that video is HILARIOUS!!!
Hey thank you for visiting me for Saturday Sharefest, it's great to meet you.
I'm following you now, so I'll be back. I look forward to getting to know you better via blogs :)
I bet YOU should have been the instructor! (you could prep with a DVD beforehand and double your workout).
Not saying you need it...so don't kickbox me in the head!
:)
wow, all exercise classes have the grapevine. I never knew the cheesy wedding dance was so intense that it should be used as a cardio workout. Maybe with the rise in obesity it is the only exercise left...
Got all excited as I thought, from misreading the title, that this was going to be about zombies (should stop skim reading titles). Was looking forward to reading about you getting tooled up with a shotgun and going out zombie slaying.
Don't ever let me down like that again.....
I can't believe you line danced in a salsa-esq class! wayy too funny. good luck with the kickboxing class though, sounds fun!!
I have been wanting to try Zumba too. I hate working out so I need to be tricked into it. Too bad your class sucked but I'll bet you'll like Kickboxing. I used to kickbox in Lombard. It rocked!
Don't feel bad about being behind. Personally, I doubt I will catch up until about September. :)
Holy shit Batman.
Sounds like the cracked out Zumba class from hell.
This is why there are professional DVDs. I prefer not to work out in front of people anyways...
...And the lady running it sounds like a tard muffin.
I have always wanted to take a Zumba class but now I am not so sure....
the grapevine is where it's at. Plus, it's so 80's so you should have loved it!
This woman--who is apparently being paid to teach this class--has given me hope...I may one day fulfill my dream of becoming a Zumba instructor. I mean, if she can do it for a living, surely I can too.
Ah! Shit son! I'm supposed to start Zumba next month... maybe I should go watch a class first... eeep
Unfortunately, many Zumba classes are like the one you described. At least you had an instructor who spoke, most of them don't--they just stand in the front of the room with a big smile on their face and you are supposed to follow. Zumba will certify anyone who gives them $300 and does a one-day training. No fitness, teaching or dance experience needed. Hell, you don't even need rhythm! (Oh yes, I have seen this on more than one occasion.) The good Zumba teachers are the ones who have previous group fitness experience and/or dance teaching experience, do not stop after every song, and are able to cue the steps (either visually or verbally). Unfortunately, these are very few and far between.
Oh, and don't even get me started about the clapping after every song and the claim that it burns 700-10000 calories/hour.
I DISAGREE! I absolutely love ZUMBA! it sounds like you just had a bad experience and a terrible instructor. If you get an instructor that knows what they are doing it is a huge party! In zumba they don't speak usually. Its all facial expressions and body language to show you what you are supposed to do next. Don't base zumba on ONE experience. After you get to know the dances and the moves a bit better its an incredible experience and a great time! Zumba is amazing and I encourage everyone to check it out :) its fantastic!
I'm a Zumba instructor and I have to agree with previous posters that many people teaching Zumba have NO training in group fitness instruction. I always recommend people ask their instructor if they are certified in GROUP FITNESS instruction. Taking the Zumba workshop only gives you license to use their name, logo and music. It does NOT train you to instruct a class. That being said, most cueing in Zumba is done non-verbally. And the reason for stopping between songs is because if a Zumba class used songs with the exact same beat, it would be BORING!! Switching from a Reggaeton to a Salsa beat for example..you just can't DJ mix them together!
Sorry you had a bad experience...but not every instructor is the same, I promise. Find one who actually knows how to instruct a class AND teach Zumba and you will have a MUCH better time!
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